May 2 & 3: Stop, Drop, and Roll! And Beware the Pecan Pralines

Day 2 of the #MoveinMay challenge was Powderhorn's May Day parade and festival. It was a beautiful day to watch a fanciful parade of musicians, puppets, and costumed ruffians, and to wander Powderhorn Park with friends. There were all sorts of cool movements going on: tricked out bikes cruising through the streets; men, women, and children on stilts; ceremonial canoers fighting the wind across the lake. After standing and walking most of the day, I had to get in on the action. My friend Meredith and I spotted a some little kids rolling down a hill, and decided to try it out for ourselves. Little kids rolling down a hill looks roughly like this:

It's cute and sweet and their little bodies are just the right size for downhill tumbling. As soon as I dropped to the ground and let gravity take its course, I realized human beings aren't meant to travel by gravity. At least not horizontally, or in loose-fitting jeans. With each rotation came a jarring bump and the inching down of my pants. By the time I made it to the bottom, I was laughing hysterically, covered in grass stains, and half clothed. Mr. Dels (is it weird that I call people by their twitter names?) may or may have pictures of this escapade. I'm not sure I want to know. Apparently we didn't look too discombobulated. Our tumble inspired some other adults to get in on the fun.


On Day 3 my creativity waived. After dinner I started munching on raisins, dark chocolate, and pecan pralines. These are foods sugar addicts sometimes eat when they're craving sugar, but trying to eat more "natural" and "healthy" foods (and in denial). Sugar is sugar is sugar, so I started feeling that weird combination of sluggish and antsy. I grabbed my iPod, hit the trail, and began what was to be a long walk. As I approached the bottom of a hill, this song came on:



Now, watch this video, go outside, listen to it on your headphones, and try not to run. You can't do it. I promise. So the song comes on, and I start sprinting up the hill. I feel great...until I make it to the top. And then I remember the third commandment of sprinting: "Thou shalt not eat a handful of pecan pralines minutes before intense exertion." My lungs burn, my stomach turns, and I walk it off without having to dip my head into the bushes (thankfully). My long walk becomes a short walk and short sprint, and my lesson is learned.

Do not eat these immediately before running.

The Verdict: Hill rolling is fun, but should be done while wearing tight pants and possibly body armor. Different arm positions will probably yield various levels of bodily injury: this should be explored further. Pecan pralines must be avoided before sprinting. Or walking. Or lying down. For goodness sakes, just avoid the darn pecan pralines. They are not conducive to any kind of movement.


Amendment: Mr. Dels (also known as Kyle) did in fact get some shots of the hill rolling. Behold (that's me on the left, and Mer on the right):